


Narcotics

by SaltyLays



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, F/M, Harsh Language, M/M, Multi, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, Smut, Violence, alcohol consumption, drug usage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:20:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26616610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyLays/pseuds/SaltyLays
Summary: Castiel, the school's reject, who smokes too much and takes too many pills to be considered not safe and gets into too much trouble. Dean, the school's popular guy, who hides away from reality and takes pills to forget his mental problems and doesn't care to socialize. Exactly, how are these two ever going to come across each other with the problems they have?
Relationships: Castiel & Benny Lafitte, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, dean winchester/benny lafitte, meg master and castiel
Kudos: 6





	1. Bad moon rising

**September 4th | 1:42am**

Cas lied vigilant in his bed, sprawled out and out of it all but felt so panicky. He wasn't ready for school– he never was from the start. Everyone had got him so screwed up and he - himself - did too.

It was forthcoming of Senior year, he should be glad he was finally getting out of that hellhole, but he didn't feel anything but rage, weariness, and reverence.

He's dealt with the jocks and preps last year, what difference was this year going to make? He had a dealer not that long ago and his emotions were out of whack. He was tired, but he couldn't fall asleep and he didn't know why. Honestly, he liked to sleep, but he hated dreaming.

_Like a poor soul_

_who was thrown into the lake_

_and finally climbed to the edge._

_He drowned in drugs_

_and hid away._

_Too terrified to face himself_

_and the things he has done._

School would start at around 8, but Cas wasn't ready to deal with the retched prison. No, he had an idea on how he was going to deal with it, the way he always did. He'd take pills or smoke a blunt while he blasted music in his ears, just lose himself in reality. No one would know or care. He didn't, so he expected everyone else not to.

He didn't plan on making it through anyways, he was going to off himself whenever he wanted to. What if he ends up dying twice like Vince Neil? That would never happen to him cause he was going to make damn sure of it.

His family didn't know what happened in one another's room cause they all believed in privacy. If anyone did know what he was doing he was pretty sure he would've been shipped off to ReHab. _I'll never get better..._ Cas thought to himself, reminiscing on a song. He knew it, no matter how much he would laugh, smile, play around, and party. He never was going to get better.

He propped himself up on his elbows and looked up at the clock, the red digits blinking 2:34. He let out a sigh, not willing a groan. He tapped at the glass bottle of Bourbon Whiskey on his nightstand, watching the liquid swish around before plucking it unto his hand. He twisted the top off before taking a swig of it, despite the aching that will occur in the morning.

He was going to wait until he saw the sun peeking up from the horizon, incapable of sleeping now. He listened to the wind chimes sound out in the dead of night and stared up at the boring chipped white of his ceiling. He picked at his nail as he lied still and awake, nothing occupying his mind as he stared mindlessly.

He had no one except his family, but they always seemed so far away. They barely talked, just him and Gabriel. Lucifer and Michael were together despite them being family, but Cas didn't care who dated who as long as they were happy together though they nearly killed each other four years ago, now they're fucking each other and getting wasted together.

Though he didn't have friends, he had fuck buddies and dealers who - most of the time - pleased him enough. Yeah, everyone knew who he was, but that didn't mean that they took kindly to him at all. He'd receive names like 'whore', 'fuckboy', 'slut', 'crackhead', etc., but he couldn't care any less. He would take whatever drug that worked and do anyone who could do good in the bed without caring what anyone thought about him. Retrospectively, he feels encouraged.

"Tomorrow never dies, never matter who does...." He recalls a stranger saying before the day that they offed theirself. He never did forget that after two years of the incident. He never did get their name...

Cas glanced back up at the digital clock, 3:03am blinking back at him. With a 'fuck it', he sat up and kicked his legs off the bed before getting up. He stretched tiredly, his back popped at the action and made him groan aloud. He scratched at his messy black hair as he walked out of his room.

He pulled out a carton of cigarettes from his jacket pocket when he walked out the house into the night sky, the only source of light being a lamppost standing nearby and the moon. He flicked his lighter open and lit up a cig, placing the cancer stick to his lips and inhaling smoke, he'd hold it in before letting it go with a blow.

He glanced at the small shop that stood next to his house, thinking back to all the stolen things that came from there. He'd steal what he couldn't afford and use a fake ID to get what he wasn't allowed, he was like a dog scavenging around for scraps and anything to satisfy it's needs and wants.

His family didn't know except Gabriel and Lucifer, hell, Lucifer was the one who helped him make one (the fake ID) and Cas returned the favour by buying him condoms. Anna and Raphael would've killed them if they ever found out about what they did. But he is greatly muddled with how they don't suspect a thing about him with the way he is.

Cas took one last drag of his cig before throwing it down and booting it out, letting out a slow breath of the smoke. He stared out at the empty road, eyeing the broken glass shards that scattered the sides and the dead butts of cigarettes that lied disarrayed. His fingers twitched, itching for something familiar, but so far he has steered clear of it for a year.

He let out a sigh as he looked up at the dark sky, watching the stars shift slowly to behind him, before he turned back to head back inside, already missing the comforts of his bed. Maybe this time he could actually get some sleep in.

Stripping his jacket, he toed open his door, entering the dark room and tossing his jacket to the head of the bed. He tossed himself down onto his bed, a breath escaping his lips. He propped himself up on his elbows to steal a glance at the time, the red digits blinking 4:00am. Letting out a yawn, he smothered his face into his pillow and let his eyelids fall shut, welcoming him into the darkness.

**Self-Esteem by The Offspring**


	2. Stay for Sam

**September 4th | 2:44AM**

Dean tossed and turned in his bed, trying so hard to get well-off and get some sleep in, but nothing was working out for him and it was making him mad. He was already panicky enough, he didn't want to turn out like this, but his dreams were also keeping him up and inept of getting any rest.

He was going to start his Senior year tomorrow, but he wasn't sure if he was ever set, hell, he has never been set. This year was going to be immense and diverse, John wanted him out of the house by the time he finished his last year, but he was terrified to leave and he was going to miss Sam, the one who always stuck by his side and helped him through tough times. Of course, he felt bad for Sam helping him out, he already had his own problems and Dean was pretty sure that Sam was just doing it to be nice. He felt horrible for making Sam carry his burdens and problems.

He reminisced on memories and thought about the future, he wasn't ready at all. Where was he going to go? What if Bobby makes him find a different job? What if John goes after Sam in his drunken moments? Oh god, what if he got jumped by a bunch of thugs?! He needed to calm down, but he couldn't stop thinking of what could happen.  _ I'll be okay, I can make it through... _ He tried to convince himself as he clutched his chest tightly and steadied his breathing. Now wasn't a time to have a fucking panic attack.

Dean let out a breath before looking up at his digital clock, it blinking 2:46AM in red. God, was he ever going to get any sleep? He was going to need it for when school starts. He didn't want to go back, but he knew he had to do his years and get through long enough to live on his own. Sammy told Dean that they'll both be okay, told him to be sure to come by every once in a while.

He squirmed around some more, trying to think of something else that could possibly ease his mind and help him sleep. He honestly didn't want to result to sleeping pills, having been prescribed one too many different prescriptions. 

John had expectations for Dean. He wanted Dean to have a girlfriend who'd be housewife material and wanted him to work as an animal hunter, but Dean's too terrified to tell him all the things he wanted. John was homophobic and sneered at all the things Dean liked. When Dean had brought his friend, Charlie, over, John actually thought she was his girlfriend and he had confronted the two about it and embarrassed Dean. Charlie knew something about Dean that John didn't, and she knew better to ever tell him too.

To be honest, Dean was terrified of what John could do to him, having gotten into arguments with him. Dean had developed some of John's anger issues, which wasn't a good thing, especially if he were to lose his temper. They make pills for those, but he can't recall all the ones he has.

Dean picked at his fingers as he laid on his side, staring at the pale cream colour of the wall that was littered with posters and random drawings.  _ What if I could be a musician? _ He thought as he looked over his Aerosmith poster, the thought making him dwell on the good part of getting out and making a life of his own without his dad's expectations getting in the way. Maybe he could make a band of his own, and maybe Charlie and Jo will join him. He could jump band to band with a single instrument, he's seen some famous members of bands who do that.

_ You're not going to make it, Dean. You're too much a wimp to do something like that. You're not going to even live that long, what makes you think you can accomplish that? _ Dean placed his hands over his ears and quivered, tears starting to build up already. When was it going to end? No, he needed them now.

Dean quickly got up, out of bed, and went straight to his closet, rummaging through to find the bag he kept all his pill bottles in. He fished out a bottle of Amytal and Deliriants, glad he could find them since he usually misplaces everything. He swiftly popped the tops off of them before taking two of each and downing them dryly.

He gagged slightly and grimaced before placing the bottles back into the bag, they didn't take long to kick in so he headed out of his room. He walked across the hall to the bathroom, not bothering to switch the lights on cause he knew that would give him a headache. He picked up the glass cup that stood on the sink counter, turning the tap on and pouring him a glass of water. He tipped the glass up and chugged down half the glass before taking a breather.

He settled the glass down with a clink before looking at himself in the mirror. The bags beneath his eyes were already becoming noticeable, he hasn't gotten enough sleep in the past week, startled up around 12 and kept so late, up around 3. He hated it, he wanted nothing more than to sleep peacefully without any nightmares or voices trying to speak to him.

Snatching his attention, he heard soft paddings of someone coming closer. He hoped it wasn't John cause he knew that he would get mad and spit names at him. He was lucky to see Sam come in, but now he felt guilty for waking him up with his problems. "Dean...?" He heard his soft voice call out in a whisper. He looked up to see his little brother standing at the door with a small frown and worried eyes.

"Sorry, Sammy.... Go back to sleep..." Dean said, keeping his face hidden from Sam. Sam ignored him and stepped into the bathroom, standing near Dean. He wrapped his arms around his big brother, "it's okay, Dean. I'm here for you." Dean felt tears brim his eyes at his words, hating himself and loving his brother. No matter what, Sam was always there for him, never leaving his side. Dean hated it cause he knew that he was keeping Sam from going out and having friends, he was practically chained to Dean and Dean hated it. He hated himself for having damn mental problems.

Dean let out a sob, tears falling down more. He was acting like a baby in front of his little brother again, he was the one who was supposed to look after his baby brother, not the other way around. "I'm sorry, Sammy..." He spoke as he wrapped his arms around Sam. "For what?" Sam asked, not letting go of Dean.

"You know what... All I ever did was keep you awake and from making any friends...." he muttered as another sob broke out. He felt Sam clutch him tighter. "I don't care about that, as long as I can comfort you and keep you here...." His voice caught in his throat. Dean knows exactly why and he regretted that stunt he pulled back then, he was tempted to try again for what he was doing to Sam.

He wanted Sam to live his life and not worry about him, he wanted Sam to forget him and wanted John to get better for Sam.

"I'm okay, Sammy..." he sobbed lightly, trying to make his heart calm down. He could feel drowsiness sweep over him and he let out a yawn, still holding onto Sam. His chin rested on Sam's shoulder and he could feel himself become weak. Sam gripped him harder as he felt his brother slowly go limp in his arms.

Sam knew about all the pills and problems that have been circling Dean like a wolf would a rabbit. His heart ached when he thought about what ran through his brother's head. He knew Dean had fallen asleep now, having gone completely limp and letting out even breaths. He gently lifted Dean up and hauled him to his room, gently placing him on his bed and pulling the sheets up to cover him up. He glanced at the closet, seeing as it was open and closed it. He looked over his brother's tired figure before quietly walking out, shutting the door behind him silently.

"Love you, Dean...." he whispered, knowing he didn't hear him, he hopes Dean knows he loves him too.

  
  


**Waiting by Alice Boman**


	3. This Place Sucks

**September 4th | 6:10AM**

Cas woke up with a start as his alarm screamed next to his head, making him gasp lightly and groan aloud, rubbing his eyes tiredly and pinching the bridge of his nose. He reached over to slap a hand over his alarm clock, shutting the wretched thing off.

He heaved himself onto his stomach and reached his hands under his pillow to press it against his face, not wanting to get up. No, he wasn't going to get up, he was going to sleep some more and finally get up in half an hour.

Like usual, Davie and Nick did their usual morning count with a "Good Morning, Des Plaines! Nick and I here to bring all the news we've dug up!" Then it continues off, but it sounded like mumbling to Cas and he didn't really care. He'd close his eyes and get some sleep in, even just for a couple of minutes.

He could hear soft murmuring outside his door and footfalls walking pass by, obviously heading to the kitchen where everyone gathered up and ate breakfast. He could hear the said movements of someone entering his room swiftly and shutting it quietly behind them. Gabriel, he knew cause Gabriel was the only one, aside from Lucifer, who'd come in.

Cas let out a small groan as he felt a finger poke at his cheek, bringing a hand up to wipe away the sweet-toothed teen. "Mmm... No, go away...." he groaned. "C'mon, you gotta get up, it's already 6:45," Gabriel spoke as he continued to poke Cas' cheek, the other reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out a sucker. "Breakfast?" he questioned rhetorically as he slid the sucker beneath the slobbered-on pillow.

Finally turning over, Cas gave Gabe an incredulous look. "Already?" he asked, squinting his eyes. Gabe nodded in reply, "yeah, and I'm sure you don't wanna miss your schedule." Cas pulled his arm out from beneath his pillow and threw them over his face, letting out another groan.

"I wouldn't care, but I need to make damn sure they gave me a free period..." he spoke, but mostly sounding muffled. "Lucky, I'm stuck in pointless classes," Gabriel complained. Yeah, being a Sophomore meant having to take all the "necessary" classes (algebra, English, history, physical science (gym if he's lucky)). Senior had its perks and Cas had already taken both years of gym, the horrible class where you were forced to play "fun games" of dodgeball.

Now that he has thought about it, he wasn't going to deal with much. He signed up for Visual Arts, French, Art, and Drama. He was sure to have a free period or two his last year since he never really joined any clubs. Plus, they didn't really give all the "necessary classes'' if you were a Senior.

"Well, c'mon before you become late," Gabriel said as he turned to walk out of Cas' room. "Also, might wanna take a break from you-know-what cause by the first day of next month they're gonna start checking handfuls of people..." Gabriel warned wearily. Cas nodded slowly in response, "right..."

He reached around tiredly for his phone, wanting to put some music on to give him some motivation to get up and dressed. School was going to be shit and so was everyone else, honestly, he didn't want to deal with the outside world, he just wanted to sleep, drink, and get high.

Lazily, Cas dragged himself out of bed and walked across his room to look through his closet for some clean clothes to wear.

Black boxers, dark ripped jeans, a  _ Cigarettes After Sex _ shirt, and a dark flannel. And to be honest, that was Cas' lazy clothes, which he was, basically, always lazy.  _ No _ , he wasn't lazy, he just didn't like doing things he didn't want to do.

"7:25!" He hears Gabriel's voice call out. Without rush, Cas changed into his choice of clothing before grabbing his bag from beside his closet. Quickly, he searched for a book to read, settling on just rereading  _ Heroin Diaries _ . He looked back to see if he was forgetting anything else, going swiftly for his pack of gum and earbuds, nearly forgetting to get his keys.

That was it, then he was out the door, walking out and looking past his family. "Breakfast?" Michael asked as he spotted Cas passing by without a word. In response, Cas pulled out the sucker Gabriel had given him and left the house. He walked to his station wagon before hopping into it, pulling his keys out of his pocket and starting his car up.

He pulled out of the gravel driveway and made it off down the road to the high school. He turned up his radio, a mixtape already being in and playing  _ Nirvana _ . It was a calming drive, not a lot of people on the road, maybe a few cars would pass by, they'd head their separate ways and just forget each other. It was early September and the weather was pretty good, the past month was shit and he'd stayed inside all day, every day. Finally, the weather had let up and cooled down some. Maybe Cas'll get out more, he didn't know.

Like always, the highschool was never far from where he lived, maybe a mile or a mile and a half, he didn't care to know how far it was, just that he got there. Time didn't matter, if he was late then  _ oh well _ , he didn't care.

He'd pull up in the lot of the high school and park in the spot he owned since last year and just let it settle there, letting his music play and prepared himself for the hell that awaited him. He let out a sigh as he finally turned off the ignition and pocketed his key. He grabbed his bag and moved to push the door open, stepping out and locking his Station wagon.

Turning around and gazing at the school building, Cas slung his bag over his shoulder and turned his gaze down to the asphalt before willing himself to take those steps to the wretched building.

No one there to wait for him or say good morning to him, but that was okay, he didn't mind... Everyone looked miserable and happy at the same time, glad to see all their friends and despising ever going to school. He dreamt of having someone waiting up on him and joking about how he's so slow to get to school, exaggerating minutes to hours of waiting upon him, smiling toothily and dumbly.

Cas didn't allow himself to think any further of that dream and just walked ahead to the school building. Teachers waited outside to look out for students, seeing who's skipping and who's doing what, but mostly looked to the other and talked about what's been going or what's going to happen.

_ Mornings _ were given as he passed by and walked into the building, he made his way to the gymnasium where everyone waited for their schedule. There were multiple tables everywhere with two teachers at each to pass out schedules to students that were at their table. It was going to be a long morning before they would get to their actual classes, it was going to be a half-day and all their classes were cut short.

He looked around to see if he recognized anyone, gazing to the left then to the right and behind him. He noticed the small figure of his brother, Gabriel, waving at him maniacally, a sucker already in his mouth. Meg, Crowley, Anne, Balthazar, Raphael, and Adam. There were many others, but listing them all off would be like counting all the branches on a tree, so he just stuck with counting the ones he knew, sorta, personally.

Meg was something of a slut, he had banged her before and she gave way to Benny who provided him with some stuff that druggies would kill for. Crowley was an asshat who got a bunch of random jocks to gang him cause apparently Cas said and did something wrong. Raphael had got Cas in trouble with the cops cause he vandalised the side of a building, also, Cas had gotten into a disagreement with him and they both ended up getting into a fight.

Cas barely knew any good people, nearly everyone was a slut or a sports player or some big brainy who won trophies from tournaments. All were a bunch of cocksuckers. Goody two-shoes. Clean whores. Filthy mutts. Cas was none of them except for the filthy mutt, he was the filthiest of them all and he'd pride it.

He didn't know why he does all the things he does, he just didn't know how it came to be this way. All he knew was that life tired him out and makes him yearn for drugs that draws him away from the nausea he feels every time without them. Guess he should've taken something before coming to school, he wasn't stupid enough to carry any unprescribed pills or whiskey in his bag.

Lots of people loved bringing things they shouldn't to the building, making authorities ring out the K9s and be given rights to everyone's personal belongings. Damn, and he's been questioning why he didn't bring his stuff but finally remembering why. They usually brought stuff like that to brag off about it.

***

Castiel let out a sigh as he sat himself down on the bottom set of the bleacher, like everyone else who got their schedule, waiting till the principal shows up to give a "welcoming" speech.

He'd look over his schedule, pretty impressed with what he had and who he had.

  * Room 202 - Mechanics - Mr. Singer
  * Room 108 - Drama - Mrs. Audrey
  * Room 220 - Photography - Mr. Tanner
  * Room 241 - Computer - Mr. Böldwen



— Lunch Block —

  * Room 319 - Free Block - Mrs. Lesley
  * Room 319 - Free Block - Mrs. Lesley
  * Room 666 - Art Club - Mr. Charles
  * Room 313 - Public Speaking - Mrs. Casslie



Free block was held in the library, he knew not a lot of people would be in there since they're usually off making videos for the school news. Some people wanted him to be in it due to some of his speeches and projects, but he refused the offer.

A lot of people take him as that one person who fails all his classes and does nothing but sleep and do drugs. They weren't wrong about the latter, but they were wrong about him being a dunce. He aced all his classes just to earn himself some freedom during school. To him, it wasn't anything too special. He wasn't special or better than anyone.

A little while after, the principal and assistance made their way up the stage, ready to give their warm welcoming for any exchanged students then give some "grand" speech for everyone. They went on about some new policies, new rules, ridden rules, etc.

In the end, everyone was dismissed to their classes once announcements were done and over with.

  
  


**Twist and Shout by The Beatles**


End file.
